So, here we are in the final lesson of learning to use confrontation as an opportunity to grow. We started with looking at taking a positive approach, then spent time understanding taking and giving criticism.
Today we end with Dr John C Maxwell’s efforts to simplify the various ways people respond to confrontation, by using one-word descriptions. He has a wonderful way of making it easier to understand the reaction of people we spend time with.
Ways people respond to confrontation:
BYE — The “bye” people never profit from confrontation. They won’t hang around long enough. Their egos are too fragile.
SPY — The spies become suspicious of everyone. And begin an investigation to find out who is out to get them. Often times they will avoid risking a failure again.
FRY — Some will simply get mad and either fly off the handle or do a slow burn and fry.
LIE — Liars have an excuse for every mistake and never face up to the reality of the situation.
CRY — Crybabies are sensitive and become hurt by criticism. Unlike the “bye” folks, criers hang around in hopes people will see how mistreated they are and sympathize with them. They are the martyrs.
SIGH — They have the “That’s-too-bad-but-there’s-nothing-I-can-do-about-it” attitude. They don’t accept any responsibility for making right the wrong.
FLY — This group of people takes criticism and flies with it. They learn from it and become better because of it.
I trust this is helpful. In order to build strong relationships, we need to know how to take criticism gracefully, but there are also times when we need to be the critic.
It is possible to confront without ruining a relationship.
Which group have you found yourself in the past? Are there changes you need to make, to take criticism and “fly” with it?
I challenge you to start today.
For further study consider the book from Dr John C Maxwell, Be A People Person, Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships.